THE STORY TELLER

I have a story teller in my head. Do you?

I'm getting ready to go to a party, something I haven't done in a while. A friend has invited me, but I don't expect to know any one else. In my mind I'm telling myself stories from high school, with the theme of being a wall flower.

I'm heading for a meeting with some friends. We are going to have a little food and work on some plans for a program we are co-creating. My story teller is working through every time I am ignored, out of place, somehow not really part of a group.

My son is coming home from school, and I'm running stories about how we don't have anything to say, or I say the wrong things; or ignore him because I'm afraid that I'll say the wrong things, or .... The story teller is prolific.

Years ago: I'm in Hong Kong flying back to Tokyo the next day, and my story teller is creating the next great airplane disaster movie, and I'm trying to decided if this is a premonition or just the story teller spinning yarns.

Sometimes I'm pissed at the story teller, sometimes I buy it. Over the years I figure he is just trying to keep me safe, by making up all these fearful scenes. After all, I was taught growing up that the world is a scary place (not that it isn't at times) and that
somehow being scared, or figuring out the awful things that might happen will help me out?

I've met others who had an inner part that had a similar assignment; keeping files on all the nasty things that might happen in life. Perhaps you know this part?

These days I know that what I think has power in the world. Not sure exactly how much, but it does have power, especially when it's backed with an emotional charge.

If I show up at a party or meeting expecting emotionally unpleasant things to happen, feeling down on myself, is this likely to help me? or perhaps to create the states of being ignored, or un-received that the story teller is conjuring up? Even if they were real sometime, then isn't now.

So today I'm working with my story teller to create positive stories, ones that I can feel good about. They may not happen (any more than the plane disaster) but at least I'll be happier, and being happier I'm more likely to create something that feels good.

So I walk into the party as me, centering in myself, ready for an adventure with some new human beings, minus the nasty stories, the old disappointments, and I have a good time.

On the way to my meeting I can feel my mood shifting, and when I get there I find myself actually celebrated rather than ignored. We have a great time co-creating and hanging out.

As for my son.. we'll see, but I am going to find my space, let go of the old voices and have my story teller come up with some wonderful scenes for the summer ahead.

If your stories are working for you, God bless you. But if you have a story teller that
feels life has to be film noir, try negotiating an attitude adjustment. The next time you notice yourself "rehearsing"something, ask him or her to create the best story that they can come up with: give them a creative challenge, and if even a fraction of your stories come true, you'll have a wonderful summer.

And if there is a part of you that "can't believe it", make it a game of "make believe", and create some new beliefs. At least you can choose a more pleasant in-flight movie.

(©5/09)

A SUCCESSFUL LIFE

Every so often you may find a headline that says something like "Successful Businessman Commits Suicide".

This begs the question: if he was so successful, why did he commit suicide? Leaving aside the various possibilities of movie thriller drama, we come to potential conflicts between social and personal success.

We know many definitions of success having to do with money, fame, beauty, power etc. External measures that are the result of efforts on the public stage. We are taught to strive for this success, and to at least present the appearance of it. Some of us do a pretty good job. Or we may give up and go for couch potato land, but we are still buying into the same definition, even as we decry it.

How much space is there collectively or personally for a different sense of success; one which is based on being happy, on feeling appreciation for ourselves and our life? How many George Bailey's are there out there in real life, in the 21st century?

Several years ago I did a short reading for a man who seemed to be quiet successful in the conventional sense, while I hardly thought of myself that way; and yet I found myself giving him permission to do what he wanted to do in his heart! Something that for all his success, or perhaps because of it? he couldn't do for himself.

The Chinese have an old saying that you shouldn't refer to a man as having a good life, until he has had a good death. When we consider ourselves such failures that we decide to leave early, can we be said to have had a good life, not matter how "successful" we have been?

On the other hand, like George Bailey in It's a Wonderful Life, when we buy into the material sense of success, how often do we judge ourselves harshly in spite of having had a good life in an inner sense, in a quieter sense?

Spiritually, communally, perhaps a simple quiet life, is a triumph, a great success; especially if we can own it for ourselves. To live a long life without substantial regrets; to love another for 40 or 50 years; to raise children and know your grandchildren; to be willing to help others in practical matters, share one's enthusiasm, work hard and practice patience; are these not a form of inner, perhaps even spiritual, success.

Most importantly; to live by one's own standards, whatever they are, to take life on one's own terms, and measure success by the impulses of your own heart, is this not what we come here to do? Perhaps this leads to being a CEO, or perhaps it is being a janitor, a nurse, a parent, or many things in between, but to be a contented human being on one's own terms is not an easy feat! To quietly put aside the striving and simply model being present as a kind and happy human being, seems also a courageous and admirable way to live.

May you find the grace to appreciate who you are and be content with the calling of your own heart. You will greatly enrich all our lives.
For my Father
(© 5/09)